Peculiar thoughts loom as I prepare myself for the 2010 Gay Pride Festival

I haven’t seen my best friend in nearly four years so I jumped at the first opportunity to finally be reunited with her again. Little did I know the reunion had a few stipulations.  I’m a very open-minded person so when she asked me to go with her to the Kentuckiana Gay Pride Festival in Louisville, KY I said yes, with no hesitation.   It had only been three years  since she ‘came out’ to me so I know she needed the support.

To celebrate the Pride Festival there’s a parade, festivities at the waterfront, as well as numerous parties for the occasion. Towards the end of our phone conversation she mentioned that we would also be attending one of the ‘gay bars’.  Now I’m no stranger to gay bars.  I’ve made numerous trips to college night at Play in Nashville, TN with a group of friends. But as more and more time passes I can’t help but notice this queasy feeling in the bottom of my gut.

I’m not uneasy because i’m worried about how i’ll react to the environment, I’m uneasy because I can’t help but wonder how tonight’s events will shape tomorrow.

Moments before heading to her house a series of ‘what-ifs’ cloud my mind…”What if I drink too much and hook up with other women? I’m not gay but hey they say liquor will make you do crazy things. What if my best friend makes a move on me??..I’m staying with her and I don’t want to lead her on…maybe I’m just full of myself….She’s not thinking about me…What if I get to the club and stand on the wall??…does that make me homophobic?? I’m not…i try not to pass judgement…my friend would be so offended…What if I DON’T drink and I still hook-up with one of the girls…what happens then???”

You can imagine the epic game of tug-o-war that is currently taking place in my mind. I guess I have no choice but wait to see what happens and simply take it from there.

369 words later i’ve finally realized the golden question..what if this lingering curiosity festers into something more and I find myself in a complex predicament? What will everyone think? What will i think? What will HE think?…tonight could possibly alter my world as I know it. I don’t have any intentions of ‘going to the other side’..but I can’t help but wonder and worry whether or not I’ll get curious.

One Response to “Peculiar thoughts loom as I prepare myself for the 2010 Gay Pride Festival”
  1. slideyfoot says:

    I’ve only been to a gay club a couple of times (once with my girlfriend, and once without), and enjoyed it immensely on both occasions. I really like the way the atmosphere has none of the macho bs you get in whatever you’d call ‘non-gay’ clubs, the music tends to be better (after all, the gay clubs were responsible to a large degree for disco back in the ’70s – good book on that here, by the way – which is awesome to this day for dancing), and everybody tends to be way more into the dancing, rather than just huddling in groups shuffling.

    I found myself on the receiving end of the occasional bottom-pinch and somebody possibly tried to chat me up in the toilet (I’m very bad at noticing that kind of thing, so not entirely sure), but I took it as a compliment. Only issue is that it would feels a little awkward trying to get in if it was just my gf and I, which is why I’ve only managed to go along twice. Clearly I need to make more gay friends ! ;p

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