“One day you won’t remember me..”

We’ve all had the one person (or a few people) that we’ve loved hard and just couldn’t let go.  Make up to break up to make up all over again.  It’s as if your heart and mind are at a tug-o-war.  As time goes on, people mature, and feelings change, you may come to realize that sometimes the remedy to a broken relationship is to set the person free.

“…You see there’s a difference between being in love with someone and having love for someone.  If I were still in love with him then this next part would’ve been difficult, complex, and downright dangerous…”

I know that this is way easier said then done but since I’m still lightweight under the influence of powerful pain and allergy medications I’ve decided to give you another peek into the crazy life of Brown Legs.  Tonight I found myself listening to Maxwell’s “Pretty Wings and I couldn’t help the overwhelming rush of emotions the song provoked.

Maxwell performing "Pretty Wings" at the 09' Bet Awards

Symbolically it represents a time in my life where I fought hard to reconcile things with my ex…the only man I’ve ever loved.  Apart from that this was “our” song lol. I can still remember the first time we listened to it together.  We were in his car on our way home from a weekend spent at Nolin Lake last summer. I don’t know how many times we daydreamed to that song…sang along with that song…made love to that song.

Nearly a year ago I had actually bought tickets for us to see Maxwell as a birthday present but he couldn’t make it.  I went anyways with a couple close friends and as I watched that beautiful man on stage sing with his smooth and oh so sultry voice the lyrics of the song hit me powerfully.  I knew it was time to let go; it just took me longer than anticipated because it was so much easier to hold on. 2 years and a bajillion breakups later, we are done..è finito.

To make a VERY LONG STORY SHORT, that particular ex and I have managed to remain friends and now I’m going to get to the point of my seemingly endless banter. The past 36 hours I’ve been painfully sick with flu & allergies and as I lay here helpless in what I can only compare to a daze or drunken stupor my phone rang, I answered, and his voice jumped out of the receiver. You see there’s a difference between being in love with someone and having love for someone.  If I were still in love with him then this next part would’ve been difficult, complex, and downright dangerous.  He had called to tell me that he was in fact outside of my apt to check up on me. I let him in and he stayed with me for a couple hours to ensure that I was alright, cooked (since I had no energy and hadn’t eaten all day), watched a bit of tv with me and then he left and I fell back into my coma.  Just like that.

He didn’t linger too long or too little.

You see moments like these help to reassure me that the true remedy is to set someone free.  We’re still in each other’s lives, to an extent, but only in little ways here and there. After all this time (and sometimes I don’t want to admit it) i know that as much as I had loved him, and he loved me, we weren’t right for each other.  A lot of you are going through that right now.  You’ve invested so much of yourself and your time into someone you don’t want it all to go to waste by breaking up. I understand, I do.  But sometimes that’s the only remedy.  I’ll admit even though we’re both on our separate paths there are very few pains comparable to that of seeing the love of your life love someone else.

Now, back to Pretty Wings by Maxwell.  It is a beautiful song about how both parties in a relationship have let each other down and they finally come to the realization that the only true way to be happy is to set each other free.

The opening verse speaks volumes:

Time will bring the real end of our trial

One day they’ll be no remnants

No trace, no residual feelings within ya

One day you won’t remember me

I love that opening verse because it’s so painstakingly true.  The song in its entirety is about how two people have let each other down and even though they deeply love one another they simply weren’t right for each other.  Even though he still loves her, he knows they will both be better off apart. It’s apparent from the lyrics that they both still love each other but Maxwell says it best, “If I can’t have you, let love set you free to fly your pretty wings around..”-…Beautiful.


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