Yoga through the grief

Rest in peace babe, Feb.17, 1987- June 18. 2011

–First and foremost. For those of you that want answers Garic Salmonowicz, was killed in a fatal accident Saturday June 18, 2011 morning.  He was driving southbound to Nashville from Bowling Green to pick up his partner from the airport. From what i understand he hydroplaned and some have said that if he had been wearing a seatbelt then the outcome may be different. He was 24.

Saturday afternoon I found out that my ex boyfriend Garic Salmonowicz died in a fatal car accident.  I am devastated.  I haven’t been to work in 4 days, have spoken to few and don’t plan to go into too much detail while i’m here. I did want to share that I’ve decided to dive head first back into yoga in hopes that in can bring me some peace.  I tried to train sunday and found that i may have been too aggressive with some of my partners.  So i’m going to try a more peaceful approach.  I have never been this saddened before in my life. I am hopeful that with a tremendous amount of time the news of his loss will not cause me to be so sick and sorrowful.

Here’s one of the letters that i’ve wrote for him…

” i didn’t know that it was possible to be this sad. I don’t understand why you were taken from this world. U worked so hard to get to where u were..u were happy on all fronts & I’m keeping Blake in my thoughts for I know that you loved him greatly. I’m just glad that I had the chance to share you on so many levels. I’m glad that I had the fortune to once call myself your partner. I’m glad that everywhere i look in my room i still have pieces of you..clothes, your OCS letters, things u brought back from africa..god i miss and love you. I will forever be grateful for every day that I spent with you. There wasn’t a thing you wouldn’t do for the people you loved. In this moment I long for your anything that will ease the news of your passing.”

We first met in the Spring of 2009. I was walking back to campus after one of his fraternity’s parties. He saw me trudging along scantily clad in my mini dress and heels and gave myself and a friend a ride back.  He seemed nice, and sweet and remember making an innocent joke about getting to know him under better circumstances.  In the coming weeks we spoke back and forth and even began to date but it wasn’t an easy road.

i framed the dress he brought me from his trip to Uganda

Amongst the good times, fun moments, we had big blowouts, and the largest test, his attending Marine Officer Candidate School in Quantico, Va.  He would be gone for the entire summer and i recall him talking a great deal about how he’d write me letters and what not.  Funny as it seems he was quite the ladies man…many of the women grew quite fond of the marine with the good set of abs.  So I figured this was just him speaking a bit of ‘game’ and didn’t expect to receive any communication.  But he kept his words. In three weeks I received my first letter.  I received a total of four letters, all that I still have and plan to frame each of them.  Once he was granted liberty (the weekends off with cell phone privileges) I would sit by the phone every saturday anxiously awaiting to hear about what insane task he performed, how many guys had quit so far, or what the guys thought of the pictures of his brown-skinned woman back home.  Things were going great for us. I even looked at flying there for his graduation but i couldn’t afford it.  About 2-3 weeks before he graduate, on a saturday afternoon he asked me about making our relationship more serious and I agreed.  Once we were back on campus however it took a turn. I made the regrettable decision to put my school and work above my friends and our relationship, that along with my lingering feelings towards a previous boyfriend ended our romantic relationship. However over the next year and half we went back and forth and had finally met somewhere in the middle. Still very good friends, seeing each other as often as our work schedules permitted. Through dinners, unfortunate episodes of trueblood, and random encounters at my work place we were able to stay in touch.  A few months ago I discovered that he was gay, and had a partner in San Francisco. He had intended to move to San Franciso and start a new life with him, unfortunately he never made it to his going away party  Saturday night. My deepest condolences go out to Blake and Garic’s family as well. I wish the world knew of how much I loved and cared for him.

I have absolutely no idea what to do with myself. I can’t eat, i’m always sick, can’t talk to my friends. This whole thing ….i don’t even know what to say really. So i figured i’d give yoga a crack.

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none of that was my own. it is all the property of yoga journal.

9 Responses to “Yoga through the grief”
  1. Georgette says:

    My deepest sympathies. Years ago my college sweetheart died in a motorcycle accident and I found that grieving his death was excruciating. Even though we’d been broken up for years and in fact he’d married, it was a surprise to me how seriously it affected me. I hope you find peace and consolation.

  2. shakiaharris says:

    thank you georgette

  3. dolph says:

    I’m so sorry for your loss. I know this sounds trite, but time will ease the pain and leave you with the good memories you shared with him.

  4. Megan says:

    Shakia, I’m so sorry. Will definitely be keeping you in my prayers. Hang in there.

  5. shakiaharris says:

    thank you dolph and megan

  6. Ashley says:

    Sorry for your loss, Shakia.

  7. Blake says:

    I am glad I decided to google Garic’s name because it brought me to your blog. I hope you know how much he cared about you. He may have been mine in the end, but he always talked about you and how great of a person you were. He was really trying to make sure we met before we left BG. I hope you never forget how much you meant to him, he would have wanted me to share this with you and help you never forget it. He was the most amazing man I ever met and he will be with us forever.

  8. Douglas says:

    I am in China for work and was just reading Blake’s wall, not knowing what happened but thank you for your post. I really appreciate it.

  9. shakiaharris says:

    2 years ago today he died. but we’ve all adapted to the loss and pain. I plan on writing up something to commemorate that

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