No driving in the rain

There have been quite a few developments in these past few days.

For starters, we had two new girls join us for womens class yesterday which was nice. We’re still getting a feel for how to teach and what to teach.  I think for now at least we should stick with escapes and sweeps wait for the submissions (apart from triangle and armbar drills).  I showed an arm triangle and for those who had never been I could tell they were really uncomfortable with it so i’m trying to figure out something in between. Theres always next friday to work out the kinks…

I’ve also decided that I will not be competing at the Naga in Nashville, which I was greatly looking forward to. INSTEAD I will be joining my closest friends in San Franciso. Why San Francisco?? One may ask..well shortly after Garic’s passing we discovered that he was planning on participating in the Mens Health Urbanathalon on Nov. 13.  So the rest is pretty much self explanatory myself and several of our close friends, and I also believe his mother and brother are travelling to CA. to finish what he never got a chance to start.  I believe that some of my friends are going to actively participate.  I had considered it but I’m going to be fighting that following weekend and need to be in tip top shape.

I’ve already started searching for jiu jitsu schools in the San Francisco area so that I may get some quality training in while i’m in town.  Overall I’m looking forward to the trip, womens class, and simply getting over this latest bump.  Despite going to school form 8a-9:20,work from 9:30-7 and then training 4 days a week things are gradually getting better..i think.

Had a minor hiccup last wednesday. Brandon and I went to etown to get an extra day of gi training in and class was great, I even stayed after and rolled with Nicole, a white belt who hits harder than mosts the guys, and we rolled for about an hour.  Afterward we got dinner with our coach and all was well..until we reached the interstate.

Brandon drove, my night vision is horrible, and I openned my laptop to finish some online homework and then it started..I looked up from my laptop for a moment, only a moment and that’s all it took.  Something about the rain, the car, the loss just triggered something. I began to panic and the wound opened up once more…the moral of the story I found out that I can no longer (at least for the time being) drive nor be in a vehicle while it’s raining. Which sounds odd but it is true.  I panicked to the point where I considered multiple times to simply bail out the car…literally. So over these next few months I’m really going to try hard to work on me. To deal with my issues, pass my classes, and progress my jiu jitsu.  If I’ve learned anything it’s that even in moments of great loss you HAVE to survive.  You have to keep on living, even if it’s the most painful thing you’ll ever do. Surviving is your only option.

Appreciate what you have…please don’t end up like me driving around campus looking for someone that you know isn’t there, trying to find that face among the masses or shopping intentionally at a particular kroger simply because that’s where you always shopped, and even when you ventured there alone you always ran into each other there.

At least I’m rational enough to admit that I’m teetering between sane and insane-o.


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